Draw the line at new age bullying
Schoolyard bullying seems to be taking an insidious twist with bullying by cellphone or email becoming an increasing menace, according to experts.
Vulnerable children and teenagers are being bullied by sms via their cellphones and are becoming targets 24 hours a day, they say.
"Cyber bullying is happening on a big scale," says Durban educational psychologist Dr Anand Ramphal. "Bullies are able to reach children either by going into the same chatrooms or by smsing abuse to the child's cellphone. Through electronic gadgets like camera cellphones, cyber bullies forward and spread hurtful images and messages at all hours and at high speed.
"Previously, bullied children may have felt safe at home, which offered some respite, but by receiving bullying messages by phone, sms or e-mail, they feel vulnerable even when with their families. Home is no longer a safe haven, which can be emotionally devastating."
| 'Cyber bullying is happening on a big scale' |
"Cellphones can be a source of exploitation. Children phone us and say they are receiving anonymous messages threatening that they will be killed, and other harassing messages. Children are naive and vulnerable and it is so easy to get information about them, as well as their phone numbers."
However, several Durban school principals approached for comment said they had not come across cyber bullying, possibly because most schools discourage or forbid the use of cellphones at school. Also, cyber bullying usually takes place after school hours in the home. "We have a strict policy on phones at school and a child would be cautious about taking one out and using it," said the principal of Newlands East Secondary school Jeremy Goldstone. "But this is definitely something we need to keep an eye on."
Trevor Kershaw, headmaster of Glenwood High School in Durban, said he had not come across cyber bullying at the school, but if it did occur the school would apply its code of conduct in the same manner that verbal and/or physical bullying is dealt with.
Cyber bullying can take various forms, including harassment of a child via SMS, taking photos and distributing them, creating demeaning websites about others, spreading false rumours and circulating private information about a child.
| 'Emotionally devastating' |
Pay-as-you-go cellphones can be bought over the counter and there is no record of the owners, so calls cannot be traced.
So, why don't the children speak up? "They are terrified of having their phones taken away," says Naidoo. "They have become so dependent on them." Ramphal says children are also reluctant to tell their parents, particularly if intimate information about them is being circulated.
How can parents help?
"Bullying should never be shrugged off or tolerated - it should be dealt with," says Ramphal. "Although it is tempting to fly in with guns blazing, resist the temptation to do so.
"Talk the problem through with your child calmly and reassure him or her. Make a list of things that have happened, name the offender if you know him or her, go to the school and calmly state your case. Be assertive, not aggressive. Ask the teacher or principal what action will be taken against the offender - your child needs a clear assurance that the bullying will not be tolerated and that he will not suffer any backlash because of your visit."
Sadly, most children believe that bullying cannot be stopped and victims tell nobody that it is happening. Most tell their friends first, then parents and last of all, teachers. They believe that speaking up will make matters worse.
Cyber bullying appears to be a global problem. London's Daily Mail reports that, according to a British survey, more than one in eight children has been bullied by email or SMS, with girls more likely to be targeted.
Some 21 percent of girls were victims of cyber bullying last year while 10 percent of boys were victimised. Fifteen percent of pupils reported suffering harassment via text or the internet.
The survey was carried out by psychologists Nathalie Noret of York St John University College and Ian Rivers of Queen Margaret University College in Edinburgh. Noret said parents must realise that bullying has evolved. "Most interventions in schools are based on the assumption that bullying is physical or occurs face-to-face," she said.
"Teachers and parents need to realise that a child's cellphone or computer isn't just a communication tool - it's also a way for a bully to reach children in their own homes. It's a hi-tech way of name calling, but it's horrible."
How to help your child
If your child is being harassed online:
All bullying involves emotional, social and physical harassment on one pupil by another. It may be verbal (face to face), on sms or e-mail, non-verbal (body language) or physical or anti-social (gossip and exclusion). Bullying can range from direct to indirect harassment, from minor irritation to major assault, from "just having a bit of fun" to breaking the law.
Bullying includes:
Female bullying includes:
If you are being bullied, tell a friend, teacher or parent.
If your child is the bully:
Sources: www.bullying.co.uk; www.bullying.co.uk
For more information, also see www.netbullies.com
- This article was originally published on page 12 of The Daily News on May 18, 2007
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